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A good laugh is great medicine


 GOODMORNING
 

Posted by Topaz at 9:47 AM - 16 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 SHORT JOKES
 

An elderly woman died last month. Having never
married,
she requested no male pallbearers. In her
handwritten
instructions for her memorial services,she wrote,
"They wouldn't take me out while I was alive,I
don't
want them to take me out when I'm dead.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her,

Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state,

dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle.

If that ever happens, just pull the plug"

His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer.

Posted by Topaz at 7:10 PM - 14 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 SPAGHETTI-SPAGHETTI-SPAGHETTI
 

A very wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin. One day, about 8 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

 

Image



"Honey, you received a very strange post card today," she said.

"Oh, just give it to me and I will explain it later," he answered.

The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband first read the card, then turned white and fainted.

On the card was written: "

A very wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin. One day, about 8 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

 

Image



"Honey, you received a very strange post card today," she said.

"Oh, just give it to me and I will explain it later," he answered.

The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband first read the card, then turned white and fainted.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without."

 

. Two with meatballs, one without."

Image

Posted by Topaz at 8:06 AM - 16 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 PLEASE DON'T TAKE OFFENSE THIS IS SO FUNNY
 

Posted by Topaz at 9:30 AM - 24 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 OLD AGE
 

Three sisters aged 92, 94, and 96 years live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting' in or out of the bath?"

The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up the stairs or down?"

The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful."

She knocks on wood for good measure. She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."

Posted by Topaz at 8:34 PM - 21 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
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  About Me
Author: Topaz
From USA
 
This blog is about...
Life is full of heartaches-laughter will help to deal with the stress.
 
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