Really Bad....  But It Could Be Worse

Two elderly women were eating breakfast
in a restaurant one morning.

Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear
and she said, '"Mabel, did you know you've got
a suppository in your left ear?"

Mabel answered, "I have a suppository?"
She pulled it out and stared at it.

Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you noticed this. 
I'm afraid now I know where my hearing aid is."

The Man Who Didn't See His Wife

A man left for work one Friday afternoon.
But it was payday, so instead of going home,
he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys
and spending his entire pay check.

When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night,
he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged
for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.

Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him,
"How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
He replied, "That would be fine with me."


Monday went by and he didn't see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough
where he could see her a little out of the corner of his right eye.