We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "seniors'
special" was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.

"Sounds good," my wife said. "But I don't want the eggs."

"Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine
cents because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress warned her.

"You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" My
wife asked incredulously. "I'll take the special."

"How do you want your eggs?"

"Raw and in the shell," my wife replied.
She took the two eggs home...

DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS!

Two red necks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down
the road drinking a couple of bottles of beer.
The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookie thar up ahead,
Earl, it's a dadgum police roadblock!! We're gonna get
busted fer drinkin' these here beers !

Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over
and finish drinkin' these beers, then peel off the
label and stick it on our foreheads, then throw the
bottles under the seat.

"What fer?", asked Bubba.

"Just let me do the talkin', OK?, said Earl.

Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties
out of sight & put the labels on each of their
foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the
sheriff said, "Howdy boys, ya'll been drinkin'?"

" No sir," said Earl while pointing at the labels...

"Me and Bubba's on the patch.