A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back." The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer.

One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?", asks the Irishman.

The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back.

The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.

The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?".

The Irishman replies, "Oh...I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first".

Two babies were sitting in their cribs, when one baby shouted to the other, "Are you a little girl or a little boy?"

"I don't know," replied the other baby giggling.

"What do you mean, you don't know?" said the first baby.

"I mean I don't know how to tell the difference," was the reply.

"Well, I do," said the first baby chuckling. "I'll climb into your crib and find out."

He carefully maneuvered himself into the other baby's crib, then quickly disappeared beneath the blankets. After a couple of minutes, he resurfaced with a big grin on his face.

"You're a little girl, and I'm a little boy," he said proudly.

"You're ever so clever," cooed the baby girl, "but how can you tell?"

"It's quite easy really," replied the baby boy, "you've got pink booties and I've got blue ones

What Starts with F and ends with K

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her
students. The teacher asked, "Henry, what's your problem?"

Henry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the
3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade
too!"

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Henry to the principal's office.

While Henry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the
principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would
give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was
to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Henry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he
agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Henry: "9."

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Henry: "36."

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader
should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Henry can go
to the 3rd grade."

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."

The principal and Henry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Henry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Henry replied: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Henry: "Pants."

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"

Henry: "Coconut."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the
answer, Henry replied, "Bubble gum."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down
and a dog does on three legs?"

Henry: "Shake hands."

The principal was trembling in sweat.

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a
lot of heat and excitement?"

Henry: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Henry
in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong......