A Cajun named Thibodaux went to his doctor to determine the source of
his malady. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Thibodaux
in the eye and said, "I've some bad news for you. You have cancer, and it's very
bad. You'd best put your affairs in order."

Thibodaux was shocked and
saddened. But, being of solid character, he managed to compose himself and walk
from the doctor's office into the waiting room to his son who had been
waiting. Thibodaux said, "Well son, us Cajun's celebrate when thangs is
good, and we celebrate when dey don't be so good. In dis case, dey
ain't so good. I got cancer. Let's head for the honky tonk and have a few
dranks." After 3 or 4 shots, the two were feeling a little
less somber.
There were some laughs and more whiskey.

They were eventually approached
by some of Thibodaux's old friends who asked what the two were celebrating.
Thibodaux told them that coonasses celebrate the good and the bad. He went on to
tell them that they were drinking to his impending end. He told his friends, "Da
doctor dun told me I'm dying' from AIDS."

His son's eyebrows raised and
he opened his mouth, but Thibodaux raised his finger and the frown on his face
stifled what his son had planned to say. The friends gave Thibodaux their
condolences, and they had a couple more shots. After his friends left, his
son leaned over and
whispered his confusion.


"Daddy, I thought you said that you were dying from cancer? You
just told your friends that you were dying from AIDS!"

Thibodaux said, "I don't want any of 'em sleeping with yo mama after
I'm gone."

I was at the mall the other day eating at the food
court. I noticed an
old man watching a teenager sitting next to him The
tee nager had
spiked hair in all different colors: green, red,
orange, and blue.

The old man kept staring at him. The teenager would
look and find the
old man staring every time. When the teenager had
enough, he
sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never
done anything
wild in your life?"

The old man did not bat an eye in his response, "Got
drunk once and
had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you
were my son."

After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city.

In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not ever having seen one before, he remarked at the image staring back at him, "How about that! Here's a picture of my daddy."

He bought the 'picture', but on the way home he remembered his wife, didn't like his father. So he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it.

His wife began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn. One day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror.

As she looked into the glass, she fumed,

"So that's the ugly bitch he's runnin' around with."

Little Johnny watched his daddy's motorcycle pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the bike and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.
Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could not contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother, 'Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's motorcycle go into the woods with Aunt Jane on behind. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt.

Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane........' At this point Mommy cut him off and said, 'Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight.'

At the dinner table, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story Johnny started his story, 'I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's motorcycle go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army.'

MORAL: Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt!

An old lady was standing at the rail of the cruise ship holding her hat so that the wind wouldn't blow it away in the wind.
A gentleman approached her & said, "Pardon me, madam, I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this wind?"
"Yes, I know," said the lady. "But I need my hands to hold onto my hat."
"But madam, he said, "you must know that you're derriere is exposed!"
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and said, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old, but I just bought this hat!"