A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your
divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."

He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your
questions is yes."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't
communicate with me!"

The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he
dropped exhausted.

His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting
word. "My, you look tired," she said. "You must have had a hard day today. What
happened to make you so exhausted?"

"It was terrible," her husband said. "The computer broke down and all of us
had to do our own thinking!!!"

A couple was celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

The man looks at his wife as asks “what would you like to do for our anniversary?”

She then replies “we could run upstairs and make love.”

He replies, “Make up your mind, we can’t do both.”

An accountant decided to leave his wife one day.

He left her a note saying:

"Dear Jane, I am 54 years old and I have never done anything wild. So I'm leaving you for an 18 year old blonde model. We'll be staying at the Sheraton."

He then packed his things and went there. When he arrived at the Sheraton, there was a message for him from his wife. It read:

"Dear John. I too am 54 years old. I have followed your example and am staying at the Hyatt with an 18 year old Italian hunk. And I'm sure that you, as an accountant, will appreciate that 18 goes into 54 many many more times than 54 goes into 18!"