A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week."
"This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas."
The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife, she does exactly what her husband asked.
The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish?
He says, "Yes! Lot's of Walleye, some Bluegill, and a few Pike. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"

The wife replies; "I did, they were in your tackle box."

After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the
obstetrician "Doctor," the man said, "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a
little upset because my daughter has red hair.
She can't possibly be mine."

"Nonsense," the doctor said. "Even though you and your wife
both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to
the gene pool."

"It isn't possible," the man insisted. "This can't be, our
families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations."

"Well," said the doctor, "let me ask you this. How often do you
have sex?"

The man seemed a bit ashamed. "I've been working very hard for
the past year. We only made love once or twice every few months."

"Well, there you have it!" The doctor said confidently. "It's
rust"...

Hope each of you will have a great weekend full of fun and laughter..Love each of you...my internet friends

A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.

His friend Doug stops him and asks, "Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer for?"

"I got it for my wife, eh." answers Bob.

"Oh!" exclaims Doug, "Good trade."

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:





Why did God make mothers?



1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.



2. Mostly to clean the house.



3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.







How did God make mothers?



1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.



2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.



3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger

parts.





What ingredients are mothers made of?



1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in

the world and one dab of mean.



2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use

string,



I think.





Why did God give you Your mother & not some other mom?



1. We're related.



2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.





What kind of little girl was your mom?



1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.



2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty

bossy.



3. They say she used to be nice.





What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?



1. His last name.



2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk

on beer?



3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to

chores?





Why did your Mom marry your dad?



1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.



2. She got too old to do anything else with him.



3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.





Who's the boss at your house?



1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof

ball.



2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the

bed.



3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.







What's the difference between Moms & Dads?



1. Moms work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work.



2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.



3. Dads are taller & stronger, but Moms have all the real power 'cause

that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your

friend's.



4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.





What does your Mom do in her spare time?



1. Mothers don't do spare time.



2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.





What would it take to make your Mom perfect?



1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of

plastic surgery.



2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.





If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?



1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid

of that.



2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who

did it and not me.



3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back

of her head.