An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing.

Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.

She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.

We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."

Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, I no come work today, I sick, headache, stomach ache, legs hurt, I no come work."

The boss says, "You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that."

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "I do what you say, I feel great. I be work soon.....you got nice house.

Bubba liked to frequent the old swimming hole but was never able to
Attract the girls. He decided to ask his friend Billy Bob for advice.

"It's those baggy swimming shorts that make you look like an old fool.
They're years out of style. Bubba, grab yourself a pair of Speedos
about two sizes too little and drop a fist-sized tater down inside
them. I'm tellin' ya, man, you'll have all the babes you want."

The following weekend Bubba hits the swimming hole with his spanking new
Tight Speedos and his fist sized tater. Everybody at the swimming hole
was disgusted as he walked by, covering their faces, turning away
Laughing and looking sick.

Bubba went back to Billy Bob and asked him "what's wrong now?"
"Lord Almighty, Bubba" said Billy Bob, "the tater goes in the front.

"DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER DEATH?" THE BOSS ASKED ONE OF HIS
EMPLOYEES.
"YES, OF COURSE SIR," THE NEW EMPLOYEE REPLIED.
"WELL, THEN, THAT MAKES EVERYTHING JUST FINE," THE BOSS WENT ON. "AFTER
YOU
LEFT EARLY YESTERDAY TO GO TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S FUNERAL, SHE STOPPED
IN TO
SEE YOU! "

HOPE EACH OF YOU WILL HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND...MORE LAUGHTER THAN STRESS..LOVE YA'LL MY INTERNET FRIENDS